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10 Wedding Planning Lessons

10 Wedding Planning Lessons
I Wish I Knew Before My Own Wedding

Weddings are one of the biggest milestones in life—a day filled with love, celebration, and (let’s be honest) a little bit of stress. Looking back on my own wedding day, I have so many beautiful memories, but if I could do it all over again, there are definitely things I would do differently.

When Ian and I got married on December 23, 2005, we were two broke college kids with a lot of love and not a lot of resources. We did what many couples do—followed traditions, stuck to a tight budget, and made it all work. But if I were getting married today, knowing what I know now, I’d approach things very differently.

So, if you’re planning your own wedding—whether it’s a destination wedding, micro wedding, or intimate elopement—take it from someone who’s been there! Here are the top 10 things I wish I had known before my wedding day.

Secret Garden Spring Wedding Inspiration

10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 

1. Hire a Photographer Who Matches Your Style

This is probably the biggest lesson I learned—and one that I emphasize to every couple I work with today.

When we got married, we had a family friend who was a professional photographer, so we asked him to capture our wedding. While he was talented, his style was very traditional, and unfortunately, it didn’t match my vision. At the time, I didn’t realize just how important that was.

Here’s What I’d Do Differently:

  • I’d research wedding photography styles before choosing a photographer. Some couples love moody, cinematic storytelling, while others prefer bright, airy, and romantic. Find the look that speaks to you!
  • I’d hire someone whose portfolio made me excited. If their past weddings give you major heart-eyes, you’ll love your own photos.
  • I’d prioritize personality. Your photographer will be with you all day—you should actually like them!

Pro Tip: If you’re planning a destination wedding or elopement, find a photographer who specializes in capturing stunning outdoor landscapes and intimate moments.

10 Wedding Planning Lessons


10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 

2. Don’t Be Afraid to See Each Other Before the Ceremony

We did the traditional “no seeing each other before the altar” approach. Sounds romantic, right? Well… not exactly.

By the time I saw Ian, I was stressed out and ready for the day to be over. My nerves were sky-high, and instead of soaking in the moment, I was just trying not to have a meltdown.

Here’s What I’d Do Differently:

  • I’d consider a first look. Seeing your partner privately before the ceremony calms your nerves, gives you a special moment alone, and makes for gorgeous, emotional photos.
  • I’d schedule more time for couples’ portraits before the ceremony. We had a late wedding, which meant very little time for photos in natural light.
  • I’d plan my day in a way that let me actually enjoy it—rather than rushing through because of nerves.

Pro Tip: If you’re planning a micro wedding or elopement, a first look can be even more magical. Imagine sharing that intimate moment with a breathtaking mountain or ocean view behind you.

10 Wedding Planning Lessons


10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 

3. Choose a Venue That Reflects Your Personality

We got married in a church in Gatlinburg, which was lovely—but if I were choosing today, I’d pick something more “us.” (For our vow renewal, we went to Muckross Abbey in Ireland.)

What I’d Do Differently:

  • We love art—so I’d consider a unique venue like the Knoxville Museum of Art.
  • We adore the outdoors—so I’d choose a woodland wedding in our backyard with fairy lights and lush greenery.
  • I’d think about how a venue makes me feel rather than what was expected or traditional.

Pro Tip: For destination weddings, look beyond traditional hotel ballrooms and consider places with character—historic estates, vineyards, secluded beaches, or mountain retreats.


4. Mismatched Bridesmaid Dresses Are Your Friend

We went the matchy-matchy route, dressing all the bridesmaids in identical dresses. It looked nice, but let’s be honest—not everyone feels amazing in the same style.

What I’d Do Differently:

  • I’d let my bridesmaids choose their own dresses within a color scheme.
  • I’d embrace different textures and styles for a more visually interesting bridal party look.
  • I’d make sure everyone felt comfortable and confident in what they wore.

10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 


10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 

5. Personalize Your Ceremony to Fit Your Beliefs

At the time, we followed a traditional wedding script—but now, after seeing so many beautiful, unique ceremonies, I wish I had added more meaning and personality.

What I’d Do Differently:

  • I’d incorporate a handfasting ceremony to symbolize our unity.
  • I’d add a ring-warming where loved ones bless our wedding bands before we exchange them.
  • I’d write personal vows rather than using generic ones.

Pro Tip: If you’re planning a destination elopement, consider cultural traditions from your wedding location for a special touch!


10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 

6. Be Thoughtful About Your Wedding Date

We picked December 23rd because Ian proposed on Christmas Eve, and we loved the idea of tying it to family history. My great grand parents and my aunt and uncle were married on December 23rd. However, having a wedding so close to the holidays had some downsides:

What I’d Do Differently:

  • I’d consider guest availability—many people had family obligations and couldn’t attend.
  • I’d be mindful of vendor pricing—some charge extra for holiday dates.
  • I’d choose a date that felt special to us, but also practical.


10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 

7. Have Someone in Charge of Cleanup

Since we were cutting costs, we didn’t have a catering team or professional cleanup crew—which meant that we (and a few helpful family members) were stuck tidying up after the wedding. Not exactly the romantic ending I envisioned!

What I’d Do Differently:

  • I’d hire at least one coordinator or cleanup crew.
  • I’d delegate cleanup duties so we could actually enjoy our wedding night.


10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 

8. Wear Comfortable Shoes!

By the end of the night, my heels were destroying my feet. I wish I had thought ahead!

What I’d Do Differently:

  • I’d break in my shoes before the wedding.
  • I’d have backup flats for dancing.

10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 


10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 

9. Give the Groomsmen a Fun Hangout Space

The groomsmen got ready, then… sat around bored. If I could do it again, I’d set up a fun space for them to relax.

Ideas:

  • A whiskey or cigar lounge setup
  • A game room with cards or video games

10 Wedding Planning Lessons


10 Wedding Planning Lessons: 

10. Be Realistic with DIY Projects

I loved the idea of DIY wedding projects—but I took on way too many.

What I’d Do Differently:

  • I’d prioritize projects that had real meaning.
  • I’d start early to avoid last-minute stress.

That said, some DIY projects are worth it! I made my bouquet out of wire and beads—hundreds of them—and it was stunning.

10 Wedding Planning Lessons


Final Thoughts: Your Wedding, Your Rules

Weddings don’t have to follow tradition just for the sake of it. If something doesn’t feel right—change it!

Biggest Takeaways:
✔️ Hire a photographer you love.
✔️ Make time for personal, meaningful moments.
✔️ Prioritize comfort, fun, and experience over expectations.

Planning your dream wedding or elopement? Let’s make it unforgettable! ✨

Photography: Knoxville Wedding Photographer – Star Noir Studio

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